Monday, 25 March 2013

11 Signs It's Time To Take A Break From Your Relationship

When you're in a relationship, you owe it yourself to stay in tune with your inner voice. This instinct or
sixth sense if you may, is a guide you can count on. After all, when it comes down to it, you are
    responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing.

A relationship should not leave you feeling inadequate, annoyed and depressed, if it does then perhaps, it's time to move on. Yes it will be painful and no one wants to feel that they have failed the relationship but sometimes, it's necessary.

Here are 11 signs that you should take a break:

1. Talk less, argue more

When frustration takes over in the relationship, things are not going to solve by itself when everything he does annoy you. As you sulk and seethe in resentment, you're just going to slowly withdraw from him and stop talking altogether. It's a painful demise that is waiting to happen. Remember this, without real communication you have nothing to sustain the love you might once have felt for each other.

2. Insecurity

If his actions or mannerism gives you the feelings of uncertainty and nervousness even after 18 months of dating, there's a good reason why the internal alarm is ringing loudly. Your relationship should not caused you sleepless nights where it worries you that you might not be good enough or he's just taking you for a ride. For the relationship to work, there should be a level of commitment from both partners.

3. Incompatibility

Yes, opposites attract but it is also as important for partners to share at least some degree of the same interest. If you like a clean apartment and he lives like a slob, it is most likely that one or both of you are going to feel unhappy about the other person's habit or lifestyle. You have a better chance of cultivating a successful and loving relationship when you both share similar goals, beliefs or values.

4. Spending less time together

There are certain cycles in life where we're busy and our relationship have to share the same spotlight as our job or personal issue. But if he hardly makes time for the both of you anymore or you, yourself, are not willing to invest your time, then there is a problem here. You're not each other's priority any longer and without real effort, you give little chance for the two of you to grow into an understanding partnership.

5. Self-esteem tumbles

When you're in love with someone, he or she should bring out the best in you. Your partner encourages you to better yourself and makes you feel more alive and confident. But if it feels like you have to put on a mask or he doesn't have anything nice to say about you, it can take a beating on your self-esteem in the long run. As a couple, you should be able to make one another feel respected, loved and worthwhile.

6. I love you, not

Those three words don't come easily. Worst, the L-word is carelessly thrown around today that you can't tell if he's being serious or just trying to get into your knickers. Right here's the thing, even if there's chemistry, when that person can't express their love with enough conviction and affectionate gestures, chances are neither of you would be convinced or happy because it's never enough and you'll always be second guessing.

7. Think about breaking up a lot

When you start feeling exhausted from all the fights and irritated by his behaviour while constantly thinking about breaking up, it is time to listen to your inner voice. No relationship is that hard till you don't want to give it one more try. Once you start thinking and believing that a life without him would be better, this is a clear sign to re-evaluate what brought you here in the first place.

8. More bad than good

Relationships are hard and each couple goes through their own unique challenges. But if it's difficult to outweigh the good from all the bad and you can only dwell on the difficult times, then perhaps you have reached the pinnacle of your relationship. It is not worth dragging the problem out when you can't see any future in the two of you. As the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

9. No support

For a relationship to be solid, you need to be able to fall on your partner when you feel down or face with life's adversity. If you can't count on him or he's been taking you for granted all the time, ask yourself if he really cares enough. Most of us can tell these things but just too afraid to face up to the truth. If you have become secondary to him (or vice versa), things are only going to get worse if you don't address the issue.

10. Facing the same problems again

It's worth remembering that loving someone does not mean you are destined to spend the rest of your lives together. Sure, you've had the talk, you've broken up and gotten back together, your love is deep but if you're still having the same fights, problems or different versions of the same issue, the relationship is probably not going anywhere. Just saying “I'll change” is not the same as really changing the attitudes and behaviours.

11. No progress

Relationships have a natural progression. But if you can't seem to get past the non-committal stage, or pinpoint the hard issues at hand or neither of you think there is even a problem in the first place, it's probably best to call it quits. However, if you've tried and being with him is still making you feel miserable and unhappy, sorry to break this to you but the relationship is reaching its end.

No relationship is easy, we go through ups and down all the time. It's what makes being in love such a bittersweet experience. Bottom line here is whether your relationship is making you feel happy and fulfilled. Often we hang onto the familiarity of a person because we're just afraid of moving on. If the relationship is important to the both of you, then you'll work it out as a couple. However, if neither of you feel that way, then perhaps a break up is inevitable.

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copyright by Izah Assrin